Okay maybe that’s dramatic. I don’t think our situation is unique, so to speak. Of course it’s unique because no one else has our personality mix or exact household dynamics. But I know we aren’t the only busy household in the world – heck we aren’t even close to being the busiest. And all that aside, our schedules just got incredibly busy.
Mike’s work-load increased significantly as his department is implementing a new learning management system at our university; he is also teaching a new class online. The semester also just started for me. I’m taking 3 classes (1 online and 2 over weekends), plus interning part-time for an advocacy organization. I think we both got used to me being unemployed and now that I have far less free time, it has been a shock to our household!
Even just the first week of this new arrangement was a little bit of a disaster. I don’t mean we’re fighting or anything terrible. Although there have been a few hilarious meltdowns – picture me wandering around and then crumpling to the couch as if I don’t even have the energy to hold myself up. I just mean our place was a little dirtier than normal. Lunches were no longer pre-packed. Dinners were no longer made on time (if at all?) and other chores just flat out didn’t get done. We both came home several nights totally exhausted and stressed about to-do lists that included far more items than we wished!
I know the normal suggestions to reduce stress: practice yoga, eat better, make time for sleep, make time for yourself. I thought I’d reach out to the world (or rather, my Facebook friends) to get their suggestions. Most suggestions included some aspect of the following: get organized with a calendar and alerts on your phone, lots of wine, say no and don’t over commit, make time for yourself, and know your priorities. There were varying degrees of sleep suggestions – some say plenty of sleep, others say reduce the sleep and be more productive. One suggestion I really liked was not to avoid items on the to-do list but to do them in order instead of putting less ‘fun’ items aside. My friend Danielle only schedules meetings during 10 AM – 2 PM which always leaves the mornings and afternoons for blocks of focused work.
A few of the things I do or am trying:
- I’m a big list person and color-coded kinda person. I have no problems being organized. I have a detailed calendar with task reminders and daily goals.
- We are trying to eat better! Even if we tend toward what’s convenient as the day goes on – starting the morning with a nice green monster smoothie (spinach, proteins & fruits) helps start the day on the right foot.
- New for me is to reduce my multi-tasking – focus on the task at hand, and get it done.
- Canceled cable – I love (addiction level) television and movies. This goes hand in hand with my multi-tasking. Hopefully by eliminating the temptation of cable, I won’t pretend I can watch and read at the same time. It also saves money – hooray! However…I just got hooked on The West Wing via Netflix, so that’s not helping.
- I now get my clothes and everything ready the night before. My bag is packed and lunch is made the night before so that my morning routine can be easy and quick.
- I got the most amazing coffee maker for Christmas (thanks in-laws!) and the feature I’ve never had before….automatic start! Have you ever seen me before coffee? It’s not pretty. It might be hilarious, but it’s not pretty. So my coffee starts brewing when my alarm goes off – I can have a cup while I get ready, and a travel mug for the commute.
- I’m saying no. Sometimes it is not what I want to do – sometimes I really want to attend XYZ event or hang out with my friends. But I’m trying to be realistic about my time and energy levels. Within another couple weeks, I should have a handle on my time commitments and begin to say ‘yes’ a little bit more.
What tricks do you use to keep a handle on household chores and other responsibilities? Do you have practical tips for balancing your time?
First: Are you kidding me with the West Wing?! I just started it last week! I swear we were separated at birth.
Second: My Sunday typically consists of meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and packaging. This helps us stay in track with healthy eating habits. It’s a lot of work, but rewarding when I’m able to put a good meal on the table each night (and the next day’s lunchbox).
Third: I still need to find time for exercise. I prefer sleeping in till 6:30, and will never cancel cable!
Well as you can see – canceling cable hasn’t settled in to being a help yet. haha And I cannot believe that you just started the West Wing too! I’m at the end of Season 4 – you? Josh is my favorite. Also in a different life, I really want to be a White House senior staffer.
My classes this semester are on the weekend – otherwise I would normally devote half of Sunday to homework and half to preparing for the week with food & laundry. This past weekend, and this upcoming weekend, I have class Saturday & Sunday from 8 AM – 5 PM. Devastating time suck. But worth it, I think.
Also…it’s amazing how “OK” one can get with a dirty house. Though, I have the luxury of blaming it on the dog.
Oh and I’ve gotten much better about a dirty house. And you know, it’s not filthy – the dishes just sit longer than I’d like and clothes are piled everywhere except in the dresser. haha We make do. When we put things away, we can’t find them!
I am just indubitably impressed with the discipline and courage it takes even to write that list, let alone comply with it
I wrote list after list to set up retirement, moving, campus departure stuff, etc., and the longer the list got, the fewer items I actually saw myself able to check off. So what did I do? I gave up yoga. 
(Of course, I never actually started yoga in the first place, so, an easy elimination. Made me feel better to get it off the list that I never put it on. And I did get most of those things done, at last.)
So what am I saying? Mike says there are such things as imaginary numbers, so why can’t I recommend you create lists of imaginary events and task to check off? Yes, I did once get a Ph.D., so, yes, I did practice less whimsical forms of career planning before I retired.
Would like to try that coffee pot sometime too.
The coffee pot is a magical piece of technology!
There are definitely things that don’t get done and likely never will. But hopefully in a few weeks, I will have an update post that we’ve got at least 75% of our lives together
But then again, maybe having our lives together is boring and it’s more fun this way!
@ Bruce, ha mike says there are imaginary numbers!
@ Shelby, life is more fun that way! Dirty house, only matters if you let it! We almost lowered our tv to just “news, religion, and cartoon channels”, but said no!
Saw this bumper sticker on a car last month: “Say no to negativity!”
Haha!
Say no more often! (to chores